There I said it. I admitted it. I’ve been in a funk for the past few days and at first I wasn’t understanding why. In the last 11 years I’ve never forgotten February 14th. Not for Valentines day, but that is the day I lost my grandmother in 2001. My grandma and I were really close and I get emotional every year when I think about what i wish she was able to see me accomplish and share with me.
Yesterday, I got a call that my daughter was finally accepted into an early head start program that I have been trying to get her into and I had so much to do that I completely forgot about yesterday. So I’ve been on a 3 day binge eating horribly. I feel guilty and i know I need to get it back together
I can make a ton of excuses about this and not do anything about it….but I’m not going to. Excuses are excuses and they do not excuse the fact that I have not stuck to the commitment i was making to myself. Something will always happen in life to make me upset or disappointed or sad….that is not an excuse to overeat and eat like a pig. So I will be getting back together….thanks to everyone that has shown encouragement I appreciate it.
So today I had some left over spaghetti and I really wanted some more. I was fighting with myself on whether i should eat some more or not. I decided to drink a tall glass of water and wait it out!! Magically (to me lol), I did not feel hungry or the need for anything else to eat for a few hours!!
Portion control is a real thing i struggle with….which is why MyFitnessPal is essential for being accountable. The scary thing is I kind of feel myself being obsessed with the idea of tracking calories. In the past, I always made fun of my friends for doing it, but I totally get it right now.
In other news, at the store I got the most beautiful purple kale which made my green smoothie even more amazing! I think i need to invest in some protein powder so I can use it as a meal replacement for breakfast! Also, I found videos for 30 Day Shred and insanity on YouTube! so I hope to start those as soon as possible!
I’m also one of the posters for futurefitdivas! Just introducing myself and sharing my goals 🙂
About My Journey
So, my whole life I was bigger. I remember my mom buying us panty girdles (aka spanks) and support top panty hose and saying things like “Hold your stomach in!” and “Don’t look messy!” When I was in high school between junior and senior year I got sick and I lost about 30 pounds. I couldn’t really eat anything and what I did eat had to be small portions. It consisted mainly of fruits, vegetables and baked chicken because it’s all I could really tolerate. I was never given an official diagnosis but that is what started me on a journey to eating better. I saw a huge weight loss just by changing my diet! Of course after that, life happened! I’ve moved to different cities a couple of times, I’ve changed occupations, my schedule has changed. It’s so hard to keep a consistent regimen. I’ve tried Weight Watchers (which I would suggest to anyone who can afford it, loved it!). But at this point in my life I don’t want a set plan or regimen because I’ve realized I have to make healthy decisions everyday even when my plan won’t work and even when I can’t work out regularly and even when I don’t feel like it. I’m a stress eater, an emotional eater, pretty much I eat when I feel anything. I’ve gained about 15-20 pounds since starting medical school, and I’ve realized there will never be a time when I can stop everything and devote all my energy to losing weight or being healthy. It has to be an accumulation of everyday decisions to eat healthy and make better decisions!
So… my goals you ask? …. Well…
Make healthier decisions regarding food. This entails choosing foods with higher fiber, lower fat/calorie content, less junk food (which I currently live off of), more water, etc.
Since I can’t work out regularly, I want to work out when I can, take the stairs instead of elevators, park farther in parking lots so I have to walk further to the store. Anything I can do to increase my physical activity I will try to do!
Get back in touch with God and feeling that connection I once had. If my relationship with God is in line, everything else will follow!
Work on healthier relationships with friends, family, etc!
So, I’m not calling this day one…it’s just another day on a continuing journey to eat better and be healthy in all aspects of life!!!