Are you on a DIET???

“Hey, you want a cookie?  I made them last night!”

“No, thanks though.”

“What, you’re on a diet?”

Has anyone else ever been in this awkward exchange, where someone questions you about your eating habits changing in such an accusatory tone it almost makes you want to reply, “Who?  ME???  I’m not on a diet!” when in fact you are?

I’m sitting around a board table with a meeting about to start and this very thing happens.  Our boss brings in doughnuts, he plops them right in front of me and says, “You get the first one!”  Why can’t I politely decline a sugar-filled dough ball without a barrage of questions and side glances!!??

The truth is, everyone wants to look amazing and fit and then pretend it just *happened* overnight.  People closet diet, workout in secret, meal prep and plan and say they “threw something together this morning”, so in a few months they can walk in looking lept (slang for skinny :p)  and then claim that they weren’t even trying.  *insert sigh of exasperation here*.

And why?  Because losing weight is HARD!  It’s a struggle!  And no one wants to admit their own personal challenge with weight because it makes you vulnerable.  In our society we shame those larger than us and mock our plus sized queens and demonize putting on baby weight or those winter pounds.  When secretly its something most of us have to deal with on a daily basis.

Well, guess what?  NO! YES.  I’M NOT ON A DIET!!! *sigh of relief*  And please don’t get this confused with, “I’m changing my habits to eat healthier.”  That’s not what I mean.  I mean I am purposefully changing my eating habits from my normal routine in a healthy restrictive way with the intent purpose of losing a significant amount of weight.  And after my two week stretch, I will transition to maintaining some of my “diet” eating choices and also allowing myself to eat less healthy items in moderation as I try *again* to choose a healthier eating lifestyle.

Please share your journey here if you would like with non-judegemental people who share in your…well…our…struggle to be a better us!! :)

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Excuses, Excuses – Follow Up

Ok, so in my last post, Excuses, Excuses, I said I was going to make better eating decisions even though it was test week and my period was about to start.  How did I do you ask?  Not so good.  Horrible.  It’s not just enough to say, “Ok, I ate terribly, whatever, I’ll do better next time.”  Yes, it’s true that you have to exercise self-control at all times and make healthy decisions regardless of circumstance.  But if you never address the underlying issue, you will never overcome overeating/binging etc.  People rarely overeat or under-eat just for funsies.  There is always something else going on, and that something else needs to be dealt with!

So what is it for me?  Well, as I said, I was about to start my period.  For the longest I have feared that I have Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD).  Besides the depressed mood and labile affect, there is also a component of “Marked change in appetite, overeating, or specific food cravings” according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition, Text Revision (DSM-IV-TR).  So that is what I need to deal with.  I already saw my doctor and will be starting OCPs.  I’m also going to do thought replacement and when I have these urges and cravings (it gets bad sometimes ya’ll!) I will distract myself with another activity and keep bad food out of my apartment and replace them with fruits and vegetables.  I will also make better efforts to pack my lunch so I don’t have to grab fast food while I’m away from home.

It’s so important to not make this about food, but about overall mental, physical, and spiritual health.  Slowly but surely, we’ll get there 🙂

❤ Rhea

Excuses, excuses!

So I’ve noticed I often have this conversation with myself: “I’m post call, I can eat whatever I want.  I’ve been awake for 35 straight hours!”  or “It’s exam week, I can eat whatever I want”  or “I’m on my period, I can eat whatever I want!”.  And you know what ends up happening?!?!?  I end up making terrible decisions regarding what I put in my body and half the time every time I end up feeling sick!  I never noticed how bad it was until today.  I was on call and at the hospital for about 27 hours, and the whole time I ate crappy!  Then I left, and kept eating crappy!  Now that I’m logging everything on myfitnesspal, I can see just how crappy it was.  Lemme tell you, it’s so bad!!!!  

NO MORE EXCUSES!!!!

I’m committing today to eat healthier and make better decisions no matter what!!!  Just because I’m post-call or on my period or have a test coming up doesn’t mean I get to abuse my body!  Seeing as I have a test coming up next week, we’ll see just how committed I am to this!  I’ll post after my test and let you know how this new commitment went!! 😀

❤ Rhea

Day ________

Hey!

I’m also one of the posters for futurefitdivas!  Just introducing myself and sharing my goals 🙂 

About My Journey

So, my whole life I was bigger.  I remember my mom buying us panty girdles (aka spanks) and support top panty hose and saying things like “Hold your stomach in!” and “Don’t look messy!”  When I was in high school between junior and senior year I got sick and I lost about 30 pounds.  I couldn’t really eat anything and what I did eat had to be small portions.  It consisted mainly of fruits, vegetables and baked chicken because it’s all I could really tolerate.  I was never given an official diagnosis but that is what started me on a journey to eating better.  I saw a huge weight loss just by changing my diet!  Of course after that, life happened!  I’ve moved to different cities a couple of times, I’ve changed occupations, my schedule has changed.  It’s so hard to keep a consistent regimen.  I’ve tried Weight Watchers (which I would suggest to anyone who can afford it, loved it!).  But at this point in my life I don’t want a set plan or regimen because I’ve realized I have to make healthy decisions everyday even when my plan won’t work and even when I can’t work out regularly and even when I don’t feel like it.  I’m a stress eater, an emotional eater, pretty much I eat when I feel anything. I’ve gained about 15-20 pounds since starting medical school, and I’ve realized there will never be a time when I can stop everything and devote all my energy to losing weight or being healthy.  It has to be an accumulation of everyday decisions to eat healthy and make better decisions!

So… my goals you ask? …. Well…

  1. Make healthier decisions regarding food.  This entails choosing foods with higher fiber, lower fat/calorie content, less junk food (which I currently live off of), more water, etc.
  2. Since I can’t work out regularly, I want to work out when I can, take the stairs instead of elevators, park farther in parking lots so I have to walk further to the store.  Anything I can do to increase my physical activity I will try to do!
  3. Get back in touch with God and feeling that connection I once had.  If my relationship with God is in line, everything else will follow!
  4. Work on healthier relationships with friends, family, etc!

So, I’m not calling this day one…it’s just another day on a continuing journey to eat better and be healthy in all aspects of life!!!

– Rhea