It’s My Responsibility

So i was having a conversation with one of my BFFs @livelovedlost and I was telling her that I was very upset that people (my friends, my family, my boyfriend at the time) didn’t tell me that I was gaining weight or had gained an enormous amount of weight.  She told me that you can’t just tell people that they’ve gained weight because the response would not be favorable.   I asked her in the future, if I start gaining weight to tell me.  While it isn’t pleasant to hear, I think it’s is needed and warranted.

After I worked out and was in the shower I was thinking back to that conversation.  I thought to myself, it was no ones responsibility to tell me that I had gained weight.  It was my own responsibility to look in the mirror and see myself.  I have to be honest and admit that I never looked at myself in mirror in a way to gauge how much weight I had actually gained until I was over 100 lbs heavier.  All I remember is that my clothes stopped fitting.  That was my responsibility at that point to take action on what i wanted needed to do.  It would be nice to have friends, like I have now, who were supportive, but it definitely isn’t anyone else responsibility.

I’m so thankful for this adventure that my friends and I have decided to start!  There definitely have been setbacks, but there has also been many victories for myself which motivates me even more.  I know that moving across the country, ending a relationship, going back to school, and raising my daughter literally on my own had to happen for me to end up in the place that I am right now.  I am a huge believer of fate, kismet  karma, or whatever you want to call it.  I everything had to align in the way it did for me to be ready and open to  this and take it so seriously.

Do you have supportive people encouraging you to live better?  How did you know you were ready for a change?

Emotional Eating

I have a problem with emotional eating.

There I said it.  I admitted it.  I’ve been in a funk for the past few days and at first I wasn’t understanding why.  In the last 11 years I’ve never forgotten February 14th.  Not for Valentines day, but that is the day I lost my grandmother in 2001.  My grandma and I were really close and I get emotional every year when I think about what i wish she was able to see me accomplish and share with me.

Yesterday, I got a call that my daughter was finally accepted into an early head start program that I have been trying to get her into  and I had so  much to do that I completely forgot about yesterday.  So I’ve been  on a 3 day binge eating horribly.  I feel guilty and i know I need to get it back together

I can make a ton of excuses about this and not do anything about it….but I’m not going to.  Excuses are excuses and they do not excuse the fact that I have not stuck to the commitment i was making to myself.  Something will always happen in life to make me upset or disappointed or sad….that is not an excuse to overeat and eat like a pig.  So I will be getting back together….thanks to everyone that has shown encouragement  I appreciate it.


Small Victories!

So today I had some left over spaghetti and I really wanted some more.  I was fighting with myself on whether i should eat some more or not.  I decided to drink a tall glass of water and wait it out!! Magically (to me lol), I did not feel hungry or the need for anything else to eat for a few hours!!

Portion control is a real thing i struggle with….which is why MyFitnessPal is essential for being accountable.  The scary thing is I kind of feel myself being obsessed with the idea of tracking calories.  In the past,  I always made fun of my friends for doing it, but I totally get it right now.

In other news, at the store I got the most beautiful purple kale which made my green smoothie even more amazing!  I think i need to invest in some protein powder so I can use it as a meal replacement for breakfast!   Also, I found videos for 30 Day Shred and insanity on YouTube!  so I hope to start those as soon as possible!

Best of luck to everyone in their fitness goals!


My first day of this journey!

Hello, hello, hello!

I’m one of the posters on this site.  I  just want to share my story for wanting to start this health and fitness journey and what I hope to accomplish.

My Story

I was always athletic from a young age; I was always involved in some type of sport or physical activity.  When I was younger, my mother signed me up for tennis, swimming (even though I still don’t know to swim to this day lol), basketball or some type of camp.  During middle school I was involved in track and basketball and in high school basketball became my full-time job, aside from school.  I played basketball during the regular season, during the summer for AAU, our teams summer league, and basketball camps, and in the fall we all shot around.  I did this for 4 years.  I should have parlayed my love of basketball to college, but at the time I was ready to end it and enjoy life outside of the sports world.  I don’t have many regrets in life, but that is one decision I definitely regret making.

In college, I met the most wonderful friends (some of who will be posting here!) and I think in the beginning we motivated each other to work out.  I think I stopped working out during my junior year and that’s when i start seeing weight gain.  It wasn’t enough to make me want to do anything about it, but I noticed it was there.  My senior year, I realized how much weight I gained when all the cute shirts I had bought to go out in didn’t fit anymore.   Shortly after graduating, I returned home and started working.  I was diagnosed with uterine fibroid tumors in October 2007 after losing a lot of blood, being in ICU, and undergoing a blood transfusion and had surgery the Friday after Thanksgiving to remove them.  To stop the bleeding, I was give all types of hormones, which also caused me to gain weigh in a very rapid fashion.  I never really lost that weight and I actually kept gaining weight.

When I was pregnant in 2010, I felt my body was weird because I was losing weight rather than gaining.  During my pregnancy I lost around 23 lbs.  I feel that was due to the way I was eating.  I didn’t eat sweets, I ate a TON of fresh fruit and vegetables  and I limited my red-meat intake.  I felt like I ate a lot, but I’m sure my portions were smaller and the things I was eating were better for me.  I gained all of my 23 lbs (and then some) a little after my daughter was born, around December 2010 or so.

Currently, I am a new city with no really connections yet, which I think have influenced my eating habits and eating more so for comfort rather than to satisfy a hunger.

My Goals

This journey for me isn’t just about losing weight.  It’s also about finding a balance in all areas of my life in four main ways:

  1. I hope to lose a total of 100 lbs in my weight lost journey
  2. I hope to reaffirm, reclaim, and rediscover my spirituality
  3. I need to balance school, work, and family time
  4. I need to find some time for ME somewhere

Sorry, I didn’t mean to write a book but I really wanted to share why this journey is so important to me and why I am taking it so serious.

Why did you get started on your fitness journey?  Please feel free to share and any helpful suggestions and tips are greatly welcome!